


Sorcerers with Speech Impediment

by Amurtinyburr12



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, BAMF Merlin, F/M, Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic, Merlin crack, Poor Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:11:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amurtinyburr12/pseuds/Amurtinyburr12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knew an old sorcerer with speech impediment could cause so much trouble? </p><p>Feauturing: Arthur Pendragon and his trusty knights (like Gwaine and Percival) as babies<br/>Merlin as the poor servant tasked with keeping Arthur safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorcerers with Speech Impediment

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I apologize in advance.
> 
> Also Gwen is not married to Arthur yet in this she's still a servant. And Gwen knows about Merlin's magic, so does Gaius and Lancelot.

Who knew an old sorcerer with speech impediment could cause so much trouble? That was Merlin's last thought as baby Arthur tumbled from the trees at the same time as a branch hurtled toward him from above and smacked him square on the head. Merlin swayed a bit on his feet, shocked, muttered something unintelligible under his breath (probably "stupid clotpole") then promptly collapsed into the dirt, stars swimming before his eyes as the world faded from purple, to grey, to black.

/ / / / / / /

Eldritch had had enough of the Pendragon family. Too long they had ruled with an iron fist over Camelot, outlawing magic and hunting down those who practiced it. His entire family slept with the fish because of the jerks in the palace. Of course everyone knows fish don't sleep unless they'e dead.

Eldritch was sick and tired of hiding- he was going to make a stand! If no one else would do anything about this injustice he would; this had to end. Uther may have died but his just as infuriating son, Arthur, had done nothing to help the people his father had so determinedly persecuted. Arthur was in fact a Pendragon and every Pendragon before him had always treated sorcerers with cruelty. The royal family and all their noble idiots would pay _and they would pay dearly._

Eldritch clambered up over a particularly large boulder as he scaled the largest mountain in Camelot, hoisting himself by his frail bony arms and huffing loudly as he did so. Sweat glistened on his brow and his muscles protested. It was a miracle in itself the poor old sorcerer didn't have a heart attack on the spot and unexpectedly reunite himself with his family.

Once he had made it to the top of the rock he pulled from his robes a scroll, crafted from the tallest oak tree in Camelot (the rules were very specific- everything had to be taken from or performed on the tallest _______ in Camelot) and unfurled it with shaking fingers. There was only one last instruction left for him to do: make up a spell.

Eldritch admitted that he was probably one of the worst spellmakeruppers in the history of spellmakeruppers because both the fact that he had terrible speech impediment and also could not think of a lot of rhyming words. (Only the best magicians could not use rhyming words and just say stuff in other languages or think it. Wanna-be's were stuck with boring rhyming spells.) Still that wouldn't stop him from taking his revenge...but it was just magic how could anything go wrong?

The old man adjusted his long white beard, a good look for a diabolical old magic-user according to _'Evil Sorcerer Monthly'_ , and cleared his throat. He put out his arms for dramatic effect, closed his eyes for a moment to think then said the following:

"A nuishance chey are de Pendraghon family and their nieghuts (knights),

Dey annoy and pehster (pester) not unlick (unlike)...uh...lice?

Too lohng (long) I've dealt wit tem (them) and they've made me the villain

I want tem (them) gone: knights and Pendragons...um...now...just-er khildrem!"

His eyes flashed gold.

However this was a perfect demonstration of how magic sometimes messes things up and Merlin is left to clean up the disaster. So, unfortunately for ancient ole' Eldritch his speech impediment confused even _his own magic_. The last word of his made up spell was meant to be "kill them" but sadly whomever is in charge of the Speech Imepediment Organization for Magic Using Society deemed that the last word was "children" instead of giving the royals and the Knights of the Round Table a speedy death. Feeling satisfied the man went on his merry way, sure his enemies were dead unaware that they had instead been enchanted into little troublesome squealing children.

/ / / / / / /

"Merlin, you idiot I said to put ice in my bathwater before you brought it in," Arthur hissed as his pulled back his foot from the steaming gigantic pot that Merlin had dragged into the middle of Arthur's royal bedchamber. "It's nearly boiled my skin right off!" 

Merlin raised his head slowly from where he'd been pretending to fluff the pillows so he wouldn't "disgrace Arthur by looking upon his unclothed body" but kept his eyes locked firmly ahead and opposite from where the king stood. "Last time you said it was too cold," He said simply, then patted the pillow in his hand with a sarcastic flourish.

"Yeah well last time I nearly turned into an icicle because of your lack of incentive to get things right," Arthur muttered starting to pull his clothes back on and deciding to wait until later to have his bath.

Merlin didn't answer at all, but rather tugged at the covers of the royal bed to straighten out the creases. It wasn't that Merlin didn't care...it was just that he was quite tired of all of Arthur's complaining and neediness. It was one thing to have manservant to wait on you but really it was an entirely different manner to have a manservant who did everything for the king save sit on the throne and wear the crown. By Arthur's socks he actually wrote his speech last night for him! If that wasn't out of the normal job description he didn't know what was. (Well and the million times he'd had to risk his life to save Arthur's life. Ungrateful prat.)

But then, just as Merlin thought those very thoughts, he realized that yes, there were other things that could be considered: "not part of the job description".

Like caring for a baby king for instance.

A loud  _pop!_ echoed throughout the room followed by a fizzling noise then a crash. Merlin turned just in time to see the curtain that Arthur changed behind collapse. 

"Arthur?" He heard himself say before he was rushing over to the curtain and lifting it up to see-

A lump. 

A squirming writhing lump underneath folds of Arthur's clothing.

"Arthur?" Merlin said again, his panic increasing each second. 

A muffled "here" met the young warlock's ears and he sat down on his knees, confused, wondering where the voice had come from.

That's when a hand came poking out through one of the holes of Arthur's abandoned shirt, small and pink. 

Merlin squinted at it, not bothering to hide his surprise, before tentatively picking up the cloth with delicacy so he could peek at what was underneath. 

A small blonde baby lay sprawled underneath, little blonde hairs sticking up around it's chubby face and brilliant blue eyes staring at him, watering profusely as if it might cry at any second. 

"What in the...?" The servant blinked at the child, tilting his head in the process. He found himself asking, "Who are you?" even though he was already quite certain of the answer.

"What do you mean who am I?" The child glared up at Merlin and shook it's tiny fist. "I'm your king! It's me Arthur! Are you dense Merlin?"

Merlin choked back a laugh that threatened to escape but managed to say in his most solemn voice: "Sire, do you feel well? Haven't you noticed I've gotten a bit taller?" He stood to his full height to show the young king, trying to hide his amusement as best he could. (For Merlin that would mean he wasn't very good at it.)

Tiny Arthur frowned up at Merlin. "You do seem a bit taller," his squeaky voice admitted grudgingly. 

"You've shrunk," Merlin squatted back down to where Arthur stood, looking very confused and angry at the same time.

"How...how?!" Arthur shouted, scrambling from the too big clothing that lay in a pool around him. 

"No! No!" Merlin grabbed the kings much-to-large robes and bundled them back up around Arthur the tot. "Keep those clothes around you Arthur, you've got nothing else on." Merlin tried the best he could to smother the smile that was fighting its way to his lips.

"What do you mean, I-" Arthur stopped mid sentence and glanced down. His cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and he let out an indignant squeak not that unlike a mouse before snatching up the garments from the ground and holding it to himself tightly. 

"I'll ask Gaius if maybe he knows something to uh..." Merlin thought desperately for the right words, fearing a tiny temper tantrum at the use of language that could upset the little king, "something to help your little predicament."

 _ **"LITTLE?"**_ Arthur roared, stumbling forward in the clothing holding it up with one hand and trying to hit Merlin with a small chubby fist. "How dare you-" punch "insult me-" punch "Merlin!" punch. 

Merlin brushed Arthur's hand away from his knees easily and gave Arthur the most stern look he could. "Little boys should behave themselves, if you punch again I might have to put you in timeout."

Arthur gave him the most incredulous look imaginable before his face turned downright cold. "Merlin, I promise you if you treat me any different then you would normally I will have you in the stocks for two days with no food except the vegetables the people will surely throw at you."

Merlin thoughts back to the time someone had thrown a rotten tomato into his eyes and he hadn't been able to see because he couldn't wipe it away. He shuddered at the thought.

But he still had to find the willpower not to laugh before clearing his throat and saying in his most sincere voice: "Alright sire well if you don't want to be treated differently then you've got a speech to make. Come along and let's dress you in your clothing."

Arthur gave him a proud and kingly nod before following Merlin to his clothing rack. Merlin didn't miss how Arthur looked at his small hands and frowned doubtfully when he thought his servants back was turned.

Merlin was also careful to avert his eyes as Arthur let the clothing he'd been holding slip to the floor and he clambered on top of a chair. The kings faithful manservant slipped the huge robe over the tiny king and brought forth the crown to go over his head as was customary when giving speeches. 

"Uh, Merlin..." Arthur glanced at the crown as Merlin brought it forth moving it forward as if he meant to put it on Arthur's head. "Do you think we could skip the crown?"

Merlin's eyes widened in shock. "No sire! You can't do that, it's tradition to wear it to all speeches. You want to be treated normally anyways so I see no reason not to wear it...unless you'd rather like me to tell everyone you can't perform your duties right now..."

Arthur turned pale at that. The idea of doing nothing was pleasing yes, but he also enjoyed talking to his people and though public announcements weren't his forte he certainly liked interacting and being the center of attention. "No um...give me my crown Merlin. Quit dawdling," He piped out in his newly high pitched voice. "And while I'm making this speech," he added, "Tell Gaius to do some research and find a cure to get me back to normal."

"Is there something wrong with you sire?" Merlin asked innocently, still obediently keeping up the pretense that there was nothing wrong with his master and he should be treated normally.

Arthur only rolled his eyes and toddled from the room calling over his shoulder as he went, "The speech you wrote had better be good this time! I saw people asleep in the audience last week and I myself was accumulating a yawn or two."

"Clotpole," Merlin muttered though his eyes shone with amusement as he watched teensy king Arthur leave the bedroom. It really was a comical sight to see the small child step away on unsteady feet with a large flowing robe billowing behind him and a too big crown hanging around his small neck.

It was only when Gwen came racing into the room when he realized there were more (small) problems running around the palace wrecking havoc. Apparently the knights had also been transformed into the equivalents of small babies or toddlers. Gwen explained that she'd rounded them up and locked them in Merlin's room then came as fast as she could to find the young warlock. 

"I didn't know what to do!" She waved her arms helplessly.

Merlin nodded and frowned to himself. "So the knights and Arthur...it's obviously magic."

Gwen nodded, watching him with hopeful eyes.

Merlin paced a bit, walking around the room then sighing. "I'll have to look into it later, Arthur might need me to whisper the words of his speech from under the table again if he forgets."

"Okay but please hurry!" Gwen pleaded. "Gaius is watching them but you know how they are and in children's bodies they are so much worse, believe me. Gwaine was drinking and playing swords with Percival for goodness sake!"

Merlin couldn't hold back his grin then before rushing away to see if Arthur would need him.

Turns out he did (and really why would Merlin even think for one moment he wouldn't?).

/ / / / / / /

"And um...citizens remember that Avalon can only be achieved through the righteous path of peace. This will be our time of glory! Our golden age! Camelot will stand proud over it's enemies and shall not falter 'fore we are undaunted, unshrinking and unafraid!" Arthur punched his arm into the air to punctuate his words and glanced around at the people assembled in the square.

Merlin stood hidden in the folds of the curtain, watching and feeling as if his forehead might shatter. He'd face palmed so many times he'd probably given himself a bruise.

No one cheered for a long moment. The crowd whispered amongst one another, most likely questioning why Arthur appeared to be a small child. Then finally, someone near the center clapped slowly and uncertainly and then everyone else joined in though it sounded hesitant and like it could stop the moment a pin fell to the floor. 

"Thank you, thank you." Arthur bowed deeply and his crown slipped forward from where it rested on his throat, nearly choking him as he struggled to both step down from the tall chair placed on the balcony so he could see and lift the metal from his neck. He ended up tripping and sprawling all over the balcony but regaining his balance just as quickly and hightailing it inside.

Once Arthur and Merlin had raced down to Gaius' and Merlin's chamber (Arthur let Merlin carry him because it was faster and would therefore mean finding a cure faster) he slapped his servant on the cheek as hard as he could, which is to say not very hard.

"What?" Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I cannot believe you let me go out there!" Arthur sputtered his face turning a bright red. "Like...like this!" He gestured to his silly getup and let out a long angry sigh. 

"You're the one that insisted," Merlin shot back. "I was trying to treat you normally, as you asked."

"Huh well next time I get turned into a little kid you'd better make sure I never do something as foolish as that again." Arthur grumbled, folding his arms together as he stomped away to find Gaius. "That was absolutely humiliating," he said though if he meant Merlin to hear the young warlock wasn't quite sure.

"Gaius! Have you found anything about Arthur's enchantment?" Merlin called stepping forward so he could open the door to his room. Inside it looked as if a tornado had swept through.

The tiny knights ran about everywhere. Lancelot was bouncing on the bed laughing with childish glee while Percival and Gwaine fought with swords too large for their bodies (and just as Gwen said Gwaine had a flask of beer in hand) while Leon and Elyan attempted to do flips off the bed frame, boasting about who's was better. 

 Gaius stood flipping through a book, oblivious to the chaos around him. "Hm...spell...tracking..." He mumbled quietly as he licked the tips of his fingers and turned a page.

"Please tell me you've found something!" Arthur ran as quickly as his little legs could take him and threw himself at Gaius' feet. "I can't stand being so small! I want to be big again so I can stare down at Merlin again!"

"Gee, thanks," Merlin said mostly out of habit rather than being actually offended.

Gaius started a bit as if he hadn't realized they were there. "Calm down Arthur, I think I've got a clue."

The knights around him stopped running a muck and gathered around Gaius, pushing one another to  get in front.

"Well, how do you fix us?" Lancelot said in a high pitched voice.

"Yeah! This tiny boy body isn't nearly handsome enough to hold all my charm. I could just spontaneously explode right here!" Gwaine added, swigging a bit of his drink at the same time.

Merlin leaned over to peer at the contents in his cup and raise an eyebrow. Mead. Of course.

"It says here that sometimes you can track magic based on the bits left behind on the victims." Gaius scanned the page carefully and nodded. "That could find the sorcerer for you." 

Percival scoffed from where he sat atop the bed. "And what? You ask him nicely to reverse the curse?"

"Merlin will think of something I'm sure," Gaius supplied helpfully. Merlin shot him a death glare.

"Merlin?!" Arthur snorted. "What could he do?"

"Hush Arthur," Lancelot interrupted. "Merlin's capable of a lot of things. He's the bravest of us all. He can fix this." 

Merlin frowned and let his gaze sweep around the room. "Guys, I don't know. I mean I can go out there and talk to the sorcerer but I don't know how it's gonna end." He straightened his neckerchief a little.

/ / / / / / /

So that's how Merlin found himself in the middle of the woods with nothing but a heavy knapsack attached to his back following a thin gold trail of light that Gaius had helped him chant a spell to find the sorcerer with. It was seriously one of the heaviest things he'd lifted and each step felt like the world was leaning on his shoulders. He was sure he'd only packed some water and a little food but maybe Gaius had stuffed in a blanket like he had in the past. A woolen blanket with lead trimmings. After sometime Merlin stopped to rest setting his bag down with a thump onto a large boulder.

"Ow! Hey!" A voice yelled angrily from his pack.

A head popped out from the folds and Merlin found himself staring at miniature Arthur with his hair rumpled and face turned up with rage. "That hurt!"

"What in the name of sanity are you doing in there?" Merlin asked, frantically glancing around as if he was scared the other baby knights had followed.

"It's just me," Arthur said as if reading Merlin's mind. "I snuck into your bag when you left and you didn't even notice."

Merlin wanted to say  _um yes I did you're like the same weight as a baby elephant_ but Arthur kept going. "I wanted to come help find the sorcerer and give him a piece of my mind. He's messing with Camelot's king and that will not be tolerated." 

Crap. Crappity crap crap. He can't use magic if Arthur is here. Destiny hates him.

The warlock shifted his feet on the forest floor, snapping twigs as he did so. "You can't be here Arthur," he finally said after a pause.

"Why not?"

Merlin blanched and tried to quickly come up with a reasonable excuse without telling Arthur he had magic. "I...uh...this sorcerer might want to hurt you or something." 

"Oh please Merlin, don't be so dumb." Arthur climbed out of the knapsack. "If he wanted to hurt me he would have done so instead of turning me into a child."

Merlin had no response to that so he ignored it. "Well, the trail that Gaius helped me create to find the sorcerer stops up there," he pointed into the distance where they could see the trail ended. "You should probably wait here."

Arthur seemed not to hear, or rather pretended he didn't and took off for the end point. Merlin followed, sighing heavily as he did so.

When they arrived, after much cursing from Arthur as he tripped and trodded upon several jutting rocks and branches Arthur volunteered to climb a tree to see if the sorcerer was close. 

That's when the poof of magic happened, luckily while Arthur had left. A thin old man, nothing but skin and bones stood before Merlin wielding a stick in his hand. "I ahm Eldritch and yuh golden tuhrail of light has summoned me," The old man bowed, his long beard scraping the ground. "Now," he straightened up. "What doooo yuh want?"

"I...what's wrong with your voice?" Merlin can't help but ask. It's a curious thing really.

"Spheech imvedihement," The old man says mournfully, letting his stick that's probably supposed to be a mighty staff dip to the ground a little as he drops his gaurd.

"Uh...okay. Well, see I believe you cast a spell on the knights and king of Camelot." Merlin managed to get out, still ogling the old man's strange speech impediment. 

"Yhes," Eldritch said dryly. "Vhat of it? Hafe you come to mourn deir souls? Ask me to bring tem back from de dead?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow here. "Well...they aren't dead so no I haven't come to ask you that at all. I was going to ask if you would please turn them back from being children."

Eldritch's face went from smug to confused to furious in a matter of one second. **_"VHAT?! They are not dead?!_ ** I zimply vanted my spell to khillchem (kill them) but instead I get childresn???" _  
_

"Yup, they are now just slightly younger as I'm sure I mentioned."

"HEY? IS THAT THE STUPID JERK WHO TURNED ME INTO A CHILD?" Arthur shouted from above, his voice sounding far away but still full of rage. The tree's swayed slightly and a few leaves tumbled to the ground from Arthur's adventure up their branches.

Merlin glanced up into the trees to see where Arthur was, wondering why he had gotten stuck with the fate of protecting Arthur's sorry butt. 

Eldrithch's gaze followed his and the old sorcerer grinned maliciously, showing off his toothless smile. "Zo you brought heem to me so I could khill heem myself? That was very kind of you."

"What?" Merlin took a step back slightly raising his arm in case he needed to act in defense. "No, I want you to change all of them back."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I asked nicely?"

"Hmm...let me think. No."

Who knew an old sorcerer with speech impediment could cause so much trouble? There really was no time to use magic. None that Arthur wouldn't notice. Maybe if he- that was Merlin's last thought as baby Arthur tumbled from the trees at the same time as a branch hurtled toward him from above and smacked him square on the head. Merlin swayed a bit on his feet, shocked, muttered something unintelligible under his breath (probably "stupid clotpole") then promptly collapsed into the dirt, stars swimming before his eyes as the world faded from purple, to grey, to black.

/ / / / / / /

Merlin awoke in a musky old cave, shriveling old ropes wrapped around his waist and successfully pinning his arms to his chest. The first thing he noticed was the lack of light save a small flame where the old sorceror Eldritch was hunched over.

Baby Arthur lay unconscious next to the man and Eldritch seemed to be having trouble thinking of a way to improve his spell. "I need...I need..." The old man ran his hands through his wild tangled beard. "I need vords of power! Vords a real sorcerer could accomplish...vy foolish speech imphedimehnt..."

Merlin quickly whispered to himself and in a second his eyes shone gold and the ropes simply fell away. He stood and slowly approached Eldritch who didn't seem to notice Merlin's non-exciting escape.

"Eldritch, change my friend back or I'll have to force you." Merlin commanded, desperately hoping in the back of his mind that his voice didn't quaver as much as he had feared. It wasn't that he was scared (no not after Morgana and Kilgharrah), it was just that he wasn't used to ordering people around. He held up his arm defensively, ready to slam the old man into a wall with the flick of his wrist. (Not that he wanted to. He was practically ancient.)

"Ha!" Eldritch snorted ugily, slapping a knee to his leg. "Vhat vill yhou do?"

Merlins eyes flash and the fire that had been lighting the cave is snuffed out instantly.

"You tink dat scares me?" Eldritch looks completely unimpressed.

"It should," Merlin says sincerely, still hoping Eldritch will willingly change Arthur back. "I am the servant of the king and I am sworn to protect him. If you won't help voluntarily, which I hope you will, I'll have no choice."

"Hmm."

"Have you ever heard the name Emyrs?"

"Ov chourshe I have. Everyone has." 

"I am he."

There's a long silence and Merlin can tell the old man isn't buying it.

"How can you beh Emrys? He iz de most powerful sorcerer to eva walk de earth. Itz impossible...he's...he's older dan you! You are mehruhly a boy!" Eldritch stammered, the fear in his eyes becoming increasingly obvious.

"It is my destiny to protect Arthur. If you get in the way of my destiny..." Merlin trailed off the dangerous threat hanging in the air. 

Eldritch stared at him for a moment, the tension heavy and pondered if it was worth it before he hastily shouted: "Vy spell haz failed me horrible thing...turn the stupid knights into aduhltz along with dier king!"

And with another large poof of magical clouds he was gone (what a coward) and Arthur looked to be regular sized again (and of course...naked). Merlin quickly knelt at his side, averting his eyes as he seemed  to be doing a lot these days, and gave him a light shake on the arm.

"Merlin?" Arthur's eyes open blearily and his voice has no sooner left his lips then Merlin bursts out laughing his eyes lighting up with delight.

"What? _WHAT?!_ " Arthur asks desperately, sitting up so fast he gives himself a headache.

"Your voice." Merlin manages to say in the most calm manner as possible. "Sire it's um...it's still high pitched," Merlin gives in to the giggles because it's really either laugh or cry and he collapses next to Arthur with tears leaking from his eyes.

Arthur opens his mouth to say something then thinks better of it and clamps it shut.

Who knew an old sorcerer with speech impediment could cause so much trouble?

 


End file.
